Behold the Jesus Lion
Yes, yes, I just saw Chronicles of Narnia. I went in wanting to enjoy it, wanting the book to transport me to a magical land that I discovered as a boy. Instead, I got a cut-rate Lord of the Rings. I dislike child actors, but if they're British and sufficently mouthy I can handle it...these kids gave off the emotion of a toaster. Seriously. And man, this movie was antiseptic. No blood, anywhere. The scene where Peter first kills a wolf: ludicrous. The CG was OK, as long as nothing complicated was called for, like moving. And Aslan looked two dimensional and sounded, well, weedy. It had it's moments, but it was nothing like the books for magic. And maybe that's the problem. Chronicles of Narnia was one of the first fantasy novels I ever read...actually, Dad read LTWATW to me as a youngling, and I picked the rest up from there. It formed the underpinnings of what became the structure of my fantastical mind It was the rulebook for how a story should go, how children should act in magical settings, and what actions reaped what rewards. It became a barometer for the mythic, and as such, I have a hard time now going back and reading the stories and understanding them as, well, stories. Now the magic has been whisked away, and replaced with a fairly pointless movie. I didn't want to KNOW what it looked like when a centaur fought a minotaur, and I didn't want to KNOW what the castle courtyard of the White Witch looked like (the inside of a taxidermists freezer). This isn't always a problem with movies based on books: I thought LOTR would work out the same way, but Peter Jackson's amazing vision, devotion, and some spectacular cinematography and CG brought a parallel vision. I can re-read the Tolkien books and not feel cheated because I've seen the movie, and I can watch the Peter Jackson movies and still feel awed. That is what a good director does. Sadly, The Chronicles of Narnia weren't that. Goblet of Fire was a better movie, and I don't even like Harry Potter very much. I don't think the inevitable sequels will be on my To Watch list. (Curious George though, IS...the animation looks absolutely beautiful. And Jack Johnson is doing the entire soundtrack).
Speaking of soundtracks, the Narnia music was god-awful. It wasn't a counterpoint, or a cue, or melodic backdrop for a film. It was a repetitive series of flute and symphony that sounded like John Williams, if John Williams was totally incompetent and didn't know a thematic element from a trumpet. Feh.
Oh, and I'm staying in San Diego for 18 more months. Thanks, Navy.
Speaking of soundtracks, the Narnia music was god-awful. It wasn't a counterpoint, or a cue, or melodic backdrop for a film. It was a repetitive series of flute and symphony that sounded like John Williams, if John Williams was totally incompetent and didn't know a thematic element from a trumpet. Feh.
Oh, and I'm staying in San Diego for 18 more months. Thanks, Navy.
is it odd that your negative review gives me hope? Not hope, maybe, so much as perspective.
I saw the Narnia preview and was up in arms about them fucking with my story (the wardobe isn't supposed to look magical, for one). Then my best friend came back around saying, 'it's awsome, you'll love it' (Granted, she didn't grow up with the stories (my mom read them to me. -_- ))
I guess it's good to have my expectations lowered again before going to see it.
Posted by
annie |
1:20 PM