Saturday, January 20, 2007

Domo Arigato, Mister Roboto

This is my last day in the US for the few months, so I will see you cats all later. I am being deployed on USS Essex out of Sasebo, Japan for a little while, and since the DoD has made blogging from government computers illegal, I will be unable to update this. Once I get my email address on the ship, I will share it with you all. I'll have Hannah post it here, so if you need to get in touch with me she is the way to go.

I will be doing my part to combat terrorism by purchasing ridiculously cheap clothing direct from the sweatshops of third world Asia, so if you want to support a sailor who is fighting Islamofacists afloat, send him cookies. Don't worry with that yellow ribbon on your SUV stuff. Buy a hybrid car to reduce our dependency on foreign oil, and mail me some Pop-Tarts. Please?(Also, join the Andy Kopp fanclub).

I hope to be back in mid-April, unless we declare war on some other intangible, such as Gravity or Ohm's Law.

Peace!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Creative NonFiction Final (Installment 3, End)


Cities are like languages. We construct them out of need and build them on nothing, arguing about the process the entire time. Scratch that – a city is a language, one that speaks in slums and skyscrapers, parks and people. Your city speaks to you, and the words it chooses are the ones you use to describe it to others. The study of words is called linguistics, and it can be applied across all peoples and lands – it is possible to break down every language in the world into components and analyze these atoms in order to better understand our own brains. The pieces that make up linguistics can be broadly defined as morphology, phonology, and syntax – or, in plain language, how words are formed, how they sound, and how we put them together to make sense of our sentences. These linguistics structures can also be applied to cities – for the same reason we study languages in the first place: understanding.

First, morphology. In linguistic terms, a morpheme is the smallest unit of semantic meaning. To put it bluntly, morphemes mean stuff. The word “dogs” has two morphemes - “dog” and “s”. Dog refers to a familiar four legged furry animal, and the “s” tells us there is more than one. Do you see? Morphemes are not just words, they are parts of words, indicating things like possession ('s), tense (-ed, -ing) and plurals. Observe that there are two kinds of morphemes – functional and content. Functional morphemes are the ones that are grammatically, syntactically required in a sentence. Things like -ing to indicate present tense, like happen + ing, or write + ing. By itself, -ing has no value or meaning, it must be affixed to something else. Content morphemes are just that, morphemes with semantic content, semantic meaning. Content morphemes are words by themselves, like book or dog.

Applying this to a city, one could say that a functional morpheme could be political party signs in front yards. By themselves, they have no intrinsic meaning when applied to, say, a neighborhood. But enough of them on a block can tell you something about that block, tell you that these people vote, that they are politically active, and maybe how they think. They are the possessive “'s” , showing ownership. A sign by itself tells you nothing, but in a particular neighborhood, in a particular yard, a sign can tell you much more. Another example of this could be litter. A crushed soda can doesn't mean anything, really. A crushed soda can in the street, next to some beer bottles and empty plastic bags can tell you much more. Litter fixes the street firmly in the past tense, like “-ed”. To be clear, it is not just an example of scale, but an example of affixing. These items need to be attached to something larger, something human, in order to have meaning. This is how we identify what part of town we're in if we don't already know. We look at the morphemes around us and draw our conclusions based on not only what they are, but where they are. They are essential to the sentences of the streets.

Content morphemes are somewhat easier to understand. These are the parts of a city that have meaning wherever they are. In this, they are iconic, and these are the stems that functional morphemes are grafted onto. A street, a church, a school, a junkyard. Maybe even people themselves. Often urban planners get caught up in designing the idea of a city around some specific content morpheme, like a monument, or a park. But taken by themselves, such morphemes are cold and useless, hollow structures waiting to be brought to life. Air must be forced in to order to make the city speak, and that's where phonology comes in.

Since phonology is the study of how words are physically formed, in urban linguistics phonology is the lilt to the voice of the town. What comes out of your city when it exhales? What language is it speaking? When all these morphemes come to life and interact, how does it all sound to the outside ear? All cities have the same basic parts and functions, but just as every language has dialects, every city has variations on its themes. Cities export more than just industry, products, and college graduates. They also generate identity, art, and culture. They are incubators for new sounds and new dialects, not just in a linguistic sense but in a deep cultural one. We all know what New Yorkers are supposed to sound like, but more importantly even if we've never been there we know what it feels like to be a New Yorker. That's successful export of identity, that's phonology. When the people are pushed past the morphemes, strange and wonderful things are formed, and then they can be tagged directly back to the city. So what is San Diego's dialect, it's phonics? We breathe in the ocean and the Santa Anas, and breathe out ships, a sense of luxury, and comfortable power. This is how we sound to the rest of the world, today. What will it be tomorrow?

Finally we come to syntax, what many would call the heart of the matter. Syntax means nothing more than rules, and cities are full of them. There is internal syntax, which the city generates by itself – the signs and roads, the directions, traffic flow, zoning laws, and rail lines that lay out in an easily understood format how it will conduct its day to day business. This is the grammar of the city, and it's often called a map. But there is also external syntax, which is imposed – how the shape of the hills structures the speech of the city. We can also call that geography, but it's more than just terrain and elevation. How does the nature in the land interact with the city? And vice versa, how is the city interacting with the land? This is rapidly becoming a field of great interest in service to the idea of sustainable living, and zero-emission building. While we've long had the power to change internal syntax, now urban planners are worried about the externals. (In China right now there is a planned green city being built called Dongtan, which aims to be self-sufficient and non polluting, housing 50,000 people). Syntax is where most urban planners start when they begin to design or improve a city, but care must be used to ensure that man made rules don't conflict with natural ones, or disaster can result – witness New Orleans.

What I've described here shouldn't be thought of as the only way to experience a city – just another way to do it. We use language all the time, both written and spoken, and literally nothing comes more naturally to humanity than speech. We are born pre-wired to understand the sounds around us and somehow, to synthesize something useful from it and adapt it to our own use. We also spend most of our time in cities of one size or another, and it might be good, from time to time, to stop and think about what works, what doesn't, and what we might be able to fix.

The Riff


I'll give you an example from my life, a sort of geo-linguistical biography. I grew up in Shreveport, Louisiana, and left when I was 18 for a variety of reasons...yes, there was a girl involved, but there was also a deep impression in me that my hometown was going nowhere fast, stuck in the past. Past tense, has-been. Morphemes from growing up? Slums, old decrepit buildings from the turn of the century everywhere. Kudzu vines climbing everything, poverty covering everything. Leaning old apartment buildings settling lopsidedly, like low rent Towers of Pisa, sinking into the red clay of the riverbank. The phonology was old and forgetful, like an old man forgetting where his hat is, wheezing oil refinery pollution into the sky while birds and airplanes fly high overhead, never landing in Shreveport. Shreveport, with a syntax of flat flat flat, the river being the main feature that decided the shape of the town. I don't go back, too much, but unless you've lived there, please don't make fun of it.

Sarasota...you probably have a good idea here. It was stasis, present tense. Beaches, hippies, villas, old people, out of state license plates, manatees, and lizards. Really, the place was like a lizard mecca. Brightly painted beach houses trying to convince you they were fun and spontaneous. What did it sound like? The old people fighting entropy as fast as they can and the young people fighting to not turn old. Everyone is swimming against a strong current, maybe not sinking but not really going anywhere either. It sounds like the tide, constant, pointless, and pretty. A nice way to describe a vacation. The ocean kept the syntax regular and predictable, the streets paralleling the beach from end to end.

And finally San Diego. San Diego is all about the future...it doesn't have a past, and it feels too preoccupied with tomorrow to put much thought into today. Everyone here seems to be saving up for something – a house, or a better car, something that will make them happy. The cranes raise everything high into the sky, and the bulldozers clear every scrap of land they can to build something that will be ready tomorrow. Balboa Park, the Gaslamp, Navy ships. It's hard to encapsulate the place into one idea, because it's never stopped long enough to be caught. The people who live here seem to exist in slivers of a city, never seeing the whole thing. Possibly San Diego is waiting for the Next Big Earthquake, which it won't get, or the Next Big Wildfire, which it may. It's waiting on something, that's for sure, and I think it will keep on waiting, and keep on building, until the very end.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Creative NonFiction Final (Installment 2)

Sarasota, Iconic




There are several ways to talk about a city. I suppose the one we're most familiar with is the Travel Guide, updated every year by faceless writers who strive to remove themselves from the text as completely as possible. Devoid of context and personal encounter, the books read like business listings festooned with little black stars that tell you how good the food will be at this restaurant, or how bad the service was at that hotel. Then there is the quasi-mystical travelogue, like Italo Calvino's Invisible Cities. That book is usually shelved in fiction, but it recounts conversations that could have taken place between Marco Polo and Kublai Khan. In it, Marco tells the Emperor about the fantastic cities that he's seen in his travels, cities of memory, cities of desire, cities of endless streets and people. There are sociological studies, maps and charts, and USA Today bar graphs that can tell you what the air quality index was on 05 July, 2004. Sure, when people talk about abstract cities, they talk about landmarks, crime, and climate. But when people talk about what their city is like, they talk about the characters. And since all a map really is is a collection of characters, this is my map of Sarasota, Florida.
First I want to introduce you to the two Joes. Let us consider them the North and South axes. I worked with both of these Joes, and to me they illuminate the whole town better than a pie chart ever could. Joe G. was (is?) a tall , round shouldered man with a gray mustache and a grayer mullet. Mid forties, loud, prone to tucking his shirts in when he didn't have to. Of course he wasn't from Sarasota, practically nobody it seems is. He ran the music department of the large bookstore I worked in. He liked eighties music, football, and really expensive speakers. His living room was a temple to the Gods of Surround-Sound. He talked constantly of leaving, of going someplace bigger and doing something better. Not in the way that angry teenagers talk about ditching whatever shitty town they happen to have grown up in, Joe talked like he was almost there. For him, Sarasota was a permanent vacation, like Aerosmith. The transformative power of classic rock was going to transport him to his better city. If he could just capture the perfect note from the purest speakers, a power chord would make him free. Joe represents the discontented slumber that is Sarasota. Quite a lot of the angry twenty-year-olds living there now are going to become Joe G. in their middle age. He is the broad street that runs through the town, but never quite reaches the city limits.
The other Joe is actually a Jo. She is Jo M., and I also worked with her at the same bookstore. She was in her mid-sixties, short, and pugnacious. I have a Halloween picture of her in a strap-on pig snout that she wore every year for that purpose. It's truly frightening. She, too, is not from Sarasota, although she'd been there since the seventies and thus could claim honorary native status. She was working out her retirement, fat and...I hesitate to say happy, because she was rarely sunny. She'd spent her youth doing water gymnastics from the back of jet skis, and kidnapped the man who became her husband because he was too shy to ask her out. She dressed as most plump older ladies do - in maroon blouses that hung just a little too low and capri pants for hot days. She adored Russell Crowe. You've heard of When I Am Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple? That was Jo. Every Thanksgiving she would throw a bash at her place for those of us who were too far from home to go back and who had no family in town. She would drink and swear, and some of us would excuse ourselves to go outside and throw a football around. She was the contentedness of Sarasota, the soft settled sand and gentle water. Why don't you stay?
Let's fill in some dotted lines and curves, like a Family Circus cartoon. The sunny, transient nature of Sarasota could easily be defined in a girl that once lived with my roommate and me over a summer. Her name was Kacy, and she was just a tourist, down to see her Dad who was an unrepentant old drunk in a trailer near the beach. Kacy was from upstate New York – Binghamton in fact, the same city that David Sedaris is from. She liked Irish music, alcohol, and knew the words to a lot of Billy Joel songs. Almost always happy, she enjoyed the town for what it was, stayed a bit longer than she'd planned, and generally brightened up the place. She described a meandering curve around a sandy coast that doesn't quite ever go anywhere.
Of course, Sarasota also had hippies. There wasn't too much of an actual counter-culture there, but on any given Sunday night the town was able to muster enough people for a drum circle on the beach. The usual makeup of the circle would be art students from the Ringling School of Art & Design (who were living off of their parents' trust funds and looking for something vaguely rebellious to do), bewildered tourists, and a few baked beachcombers trying to dress like Jimmy Buffet. As a whole, they were pretty self conscious as hippies, always making sure not to dress too outlandishly but making damned well certain they didn't look like the well-fed yuppies they were. They kept the town's few vegan restaurants in business, and sometimes they would stage elaborate political protests outside the Barnes & Noble on Sunday night, because nothing else would be open. The hippies were like public parks – you only miss them when they're gone.
The beating alcoholic heart of the town was Howie. Howie ran one of the most exclusive bars I have ever been in, the Cock and Bull pub, which was about as British as Sonny Bono. I have witnessed him kick out a patron for daring to ask for a Budweiser, and he thought Guinness was too common (in his words, “whorish”) to serve. He was a beer snob's beer snob. Short, stout, and Jewish, Howie was my introduction into the world of beer. I suspect a large number of other underage drinkers were likewise spoiled by the concoctions that he acquired. Beer made by Belgian monks, beer from Liechtenstein, beer you had to add fruit syrup to in order to drink. Since he ran the most popular nightspot in town, Howie had complete control over most drinking men in the city. He wore his authority like a crown, dispensing wisdom with the suds and receiving tribute in his metal tip bucket. The bar has since relocated into a renovated barn on the outskirts of town, but people still reference other landmarks from the Cock and Bull. Howie's is the tallest statue in town, even if he is only 5'6”.

A brief segue here to explain something about the town – it's really a beachfront halfway house. Sarasota is filled with people who drift in on the tide of a mid-life crisis...recent divorcees, factory closing layoff victims, English majors unable to find a decent job anywhere else, etc. All of them come planning to stay a few years, save up money, and maybe meet that special someone and escape to more interesting climes. But along the way, something happens. Sarasota oozes idleness from the sidewalks. The months turn into years, the years click by, and soon you're a native by adoption. It's an easy place to live, and it eats ambitions like candy. I would still be there if I had been 20 and able to live with failure. But I was just 20, and I did fail at something, and her name was Emily.
For me, she was the real soul of Sarasota – elegant, educated, and unwilling to leave. She was a talented artist, six feet tall with long dark hair and and intermittent smile, like an electrical short. I was aiming pretty high – she had a college degree and a bevy of would-be suitors whom she all ignored with equal parts innocent disdain and self-deprecating humor. Like Sarasota, she had impossibly high standards and more culture than she knew what to do with. In the city this was manifested by building grandiose condos that tried to resemble Italian villas – in the girl it was represented by locking her door and surrounding herself with the ephemera of grace, like a Jeff Buckley album. I was cooked, and good. I was able to be, I think, her closest friend for two years with what seemed to me a sound strategy of conversation, remembering her birthday, and taking her out to dinner and trying to get her to leave Sarasota. But she never would consent to taking any chances, and even though she dreamed of accomplishment and importance – her car stayed in the garage. And she certainly wasn't about to date a boy, even one who made her really good mix-tapes. Even after I'd given up on trying to seduce her, I still tried mightily to get her to leave her native soil. But she always had ready excuses not to leave her home and her comfort, and eventually I surrendered. By that point, I couldn't experience Sarasota at all without somehow experiencing Emily at the same time. The town and the girl had merged, and, since I couldn't change either one, I left.
If I seem a little ambivalent toward the town and people, I'm not. The fake Italian architecture, expensive cars, and pretentious art school baloney seem in hindsight to be as completely ridiculous as anything Disney ever put in a park. On the other hand, the people you read about here, the people who really defined the town, are outside of that manufactured contentment. They are the reason I stayed as long as I did, and they are the reason I remember it at all. It was an important part of my life, but not one I could ever revisit while staying true to my vision of Sarasota. A temporary escape from reality, a fitful sleep, and a nice place to visit - but I wouldn't want to live there, again.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

2006 Continued


4. The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

Easily the best fantasy novel I read all year, though to be fair I've stopped reading sci-fi/fantasy for the most part. There was a sample chapter of this at Mysterious Galaxy as a free giveaway, and I picked it up with no real expectation. The first two pages hooked me, and I had to buy it immediately. It's like Oliver Twist, set in a sort of fantasy Venice, with more con-artistry than a presidential election. The sequel should be out in July, but if you're looking for a very entertaining read, pick this up.




3. Believer Magazine

No magazine has better captured everything that's been in my head than this one. In fact, I have sometimes felt that my brain waves were being scanned in order to generate articles, so I have taken to wearing a tin-foil hat in order to foil these thieves. I get asked about it in public sometimes (the magazine, not the hat) because it's not a magazine everyone has heard of, and the covers are so, well, cartoon-design-chic.

I don't know how to quite describe it; usually I mumble something about a West-coast Harpers or Partisan Review crossed with Adbusters and um...yeah. There is fiction, although the main bulk of the issues seems to be creative nonfiction and interviews. The issue you see here, which also graces the top of my commode, has an article about Indian undercover journalism, Jack London and a man who makes a living impersonating him, a woman who wrote an amazing column in the Village Voice that I would like to take over, and literary manifestations of rats in books, among other things. They are the brainchild of McSweeney's, a San Francisco based purveyor of books and pirate gear.








2. Who Dat? Who Dat? The New Orleans Saints!

Nobody saw this one coming. A team that was 3-13 last year with no stadium, no city, and no hopes to a playoff-bound #2 NFC seed that is more than capable of going all the way. I'm not saying they will, because I've seen enough Saints seasons self destruct, but the athletic ability, discipline, playcalling, and sheer firepower of this team have been breathtaking. They are 10-6, and thanks to some great scheduling I've been able to see nearly every single game this season. Seriously, thanks Fox, for putting their games on west coast TV. From the Superdome opener against the Falcons



to the total routing of the Giants, they have played superbly in almost every game. There have been some bad moments, but overall stuff like this



gives me hope for the playoffs, and hope for the franchise. To be fair, the city of New Orleans is not at all back to normal, although you wouldn't know it from watching the games on TV. There's still a lot of work to be done, and there are a lot of people being royally screwed right now, but hopefully the city will catch up to the team.

1.

Well of course! It's Hannah! She is indisputably the best thing that's happened to me, pretty much ever. I was pretty much convinced I would never find someone who I got along with this well, who has everything I look for in a friend and a girlfriend. Well, she does, and I'm pretty happy about it. While it stinks royally that we are going to apart for her birthday, Valentine's Day, and possibly my birthday, we will be ditching this town sometime in 2007, and getting on with our lives.



So here's to 2006 - a damn fine year! May 2007 be good to us all.

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